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Join us on the first ever |
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(Co-sponsored by the CIA and WTT) |
When you've been everywhere else, its time to set off on the biggest adventure of all - across deserts, thru jungles, into the heart of darkness, and out again. Our tours take you through ancient trade routes, where the history of the world can be read in the ruins, and the footprints of the future stretch across the sands. Enter the magical realm traversed by travelers, traders and mighty conquerors, from Alexander the Great, Napoleon Bonaparte and George W Bush ... the fabled trails taken by the Romans, Moors, colonials, hippies and the Marines. From the source of the first alphabet in Sinai, to the trashing of museums in Baghdad, you will reach the cosmic crossroad where frontiers of freedom collide with the gates of hell. Starting September 11, TortureTours™ will take Adventure Travel to places few people dream of going, but where so many have ended up - inside Uncle Sam's secret torture chambers. Stretching from Cuba to Cairo, from Jordan to Uzbekistan, from Morocco to Kabul - plus scores of locations that we cannot disclose - you will discover an exotic world of assisted truth telling. It's more educational than Yale, more breathtaking than Everest, more confronting than Tarantino. Way off the beaten track, and a way to see our enemies beaten. All night long. Our World TortureTours™ let you see for yourself what it takes to defend American values. You be the judge, we'll be your guide.
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We guarantee your memories will haunt you. The CIA never sleeps, and nor do it's captives. The guys at the agency are famous for ways of getting their guests to talk, even when they don't know a thing. Here's how they handled Iraqi Maj. Gen. Abed Hamed Mowhoush back in 2003, who claimed he hadn't a clue about Saddam Hussein's weapons of mass destruction. Hogwash Mowhoush! As the Washington Post reported, a "secret CIA-sponsored group working with Army interrogators, bashed Mowhoush nearly senseless, using fists, a club and a rubber hose".
| Special Forces teams also joined in, as did other US government employees. It went on for 16 days, then the soldiers found a green sleeping bag, stuffed Mowhoush inside, wrapped him in an electrical cord, laid him on the floor and began to jump on him. It's a tactic is known as 'fear up' and leaves bungee jumping for dead, which is where it left the Iraqi General, taking his "last breath through broken ribs, lying on the floor beneath a U.S. soldier in Interrogation Room 6 in the western Iraqi desert". You could've been there. And you still can - bring your sleeping bag.
Two Yemeni men were held in secret, underground US jails for 18 months, reports the BBC, without being charged, during which they were beaten on the feet while bound and suspended upside-down. Like thousands of others, these US prisoners were disappeared from the face of the earth, but TortureTours™ will take you to where they once hung out. |
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More than merely an adventure, TortureTours™ offer a priceless learning journey, where our friends at the CIA will reveal a range of strategies to hurry up the spread of freedom, including shackles, hoods, electrocution, whips, mock executions, sexual humiliation, solitary confinement, sleep deprivation, dog terror, starvation, hypothermia and anal rape. Other options include:
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Why not? They'll find plenty of playmates in America's global gulag. US forces are holding more than 100 children in several jails, some as young as 10, according to various sources. An Iraqi TV reporter, Suhaib Badr-Addin al-Baz says he saw the Abu Ghraib children's wing when he was arrested by Americans. "There were certainly hundreds of children in this camp." Al-Baz said he heard a 12-year-old girl crying, and that the guards beat her. Amnesty International reports numerous human rights violations against juveniles, so all in all, the TortureTours™ experience is likely have a salutary impact on the behavior of your own little darlings |
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The same people who led the Invasion of Iraq. Yes! These are the heroes who staked their future on winning the War Against Terror, and so helped create the climate of violence and fear that has turned the security industry into a goldrush. President Bush is thrilled to be commanding the air-sea leg of the tour, starting with a BBQ on the lawns of Guantanamo Bay, while the group witnesses a mass force-feeding. Then it's full speed ahead to the Indian Ocean for a taste of the brutalities at Diego Garcia, climaxing with side-trips to secret CIA jails in Thailand, Malaysia and Indonesia. Our Commander in Chief of Torture, sums up his policy: "they hate us, so we hurt them". |
The man we've chosen to lead the overland route to Asia is Australian Prime Minister, John Howard, who sets out from the sleepy suburbs of Canberra to the dungeons of Jalalabad, and the feared "Salt Pit" of Kabul. John's never yet met a war he didn't like, and he looks forward to comparing the black holes of Bagram to the primitive facilities on offer in Australia's detested detention centres.
For touring the spicy hotspots of terror and torture winding from Basra to Beirut, there is no better guide than Brit PM Tony Blair, a cross between Hugh Grant and Field Marshall Montgomery. Tony is pushing for tough powers to deport people who foster hatred, (like media proprietors), those who advocate or justify violence, (sports fanatics & politicians),and those who display extremist websites, (Foxtel). Mr Blair is furious that a European Court ruling preventing people being sent to countries where they risk ill treatment blocked his plans. "If I can't send the terrorists back to their homeland", he says, "then we can re-introduce the rack to Britain". Join Tony's tour as he searches for new ways to roll back human rights. |
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| For more info on price, itinerary, etc, send an email to our CIA partners, and on the form provided include contact details and your choice of tour leader. The appropriate field officer will notify selected applicants. |
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Hello boys and girls, all aboard for the pain game. Like our army's cluster bombs, we don't discriminate against children. The World TortureTours™ will be fun, exciting and, most of all, they'll remind you how lucky you are to be a citizen of the USA and not a citizen of the world.
| Tots from non-military families might wonder why we lock people up in dungeons far from home and hurt them for years without telling anyone where they are. It's all part of protecting the American way of life. Some people are jealous of what we've achieved and plan to harm us. So we lock up as many foreigners as we can, and treat them mean. It works! It usually turns out they do hate us. Some say it's against the law, but these days you're allowed to commit a crime in order to stop a crime.
Got more questions? Check out our special homepage. |
IN TORTURE WE TRUST |
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